A Frugal Future

I am trying to find ways to save money. Lots of money. I have never been a good saver, and I think I might have some money=happiness=worthiness=what the heck am I thinking issues. I am not sure how to deal with the issues, but know that paying a therapist $55 per visit isn't on my priority list right now, so I'm hoping to work the kinks out "on the fly".

We are currently upside down on our home. Yep, so are about 8 bizillion other Americans. Thanks Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and everyone else who got the millions of dollars in tax payer bailout money. I am a little bitter about it. We didn't refinance and get a handful of money to burn like I watched so many other families do. New cars, vacations, new furniture all stemming from the "funny money" the banks were handing out like candy just a few years ago. I watched many people around me sign up for that new mortgage, since their home was suddenly worth more then...well...more then they thought it was and way more then they paid for it. My husband and I didn't sign up for the funny money plan. We tried to be smart. We supported the Nancy Reagan plan of action and "just said no" to what we looked on to be poor financial planning (ok, I was envious and thought about getting on the band wagon a few times but once we ran the numbers, we knew it just didn't make sense). So we kept struggling to make our house payments as we always had, knowing that in about 26 years it would have all paid off. Ah. Would have. In all of our fiscal responsibility vs. funny money, we really didn't consider the long term effects of all that funny money and how it was changing the market. We didn't know that there was going to be some bailouts in the future that ranged in size from a teaspoon trickle bailing to the whole damn titanic sinking bail out failure. We also didn't know that these kind of things would put our fiscally responsible decisions into the lovely status of being "upside-down". So, we now owe about 3 times what it appears our home is worth. There are multiple homes on more acreage, with better improvements (and less wear and tear) selling for 1/3 to 1/2 the amount we currently owe on our mortgage. We are screwed. We can keep scraping together the house payment every month and maybe, if we are really lucky, it's value will catch up in 10, 15, maybe 20 years. Or we can bail. Not the kind of good bailout that everyone got- I'm talking the we bail out and let our house go. I am scared. This means we will have one year to save as much money as we possibly can before we are without a home. Where will we go? Is this the right thing to do?

I am not emotionally attached to this house, at least I don't think I am. My mind may change when I am living out of a card board box. I have been hoping for change, praying for God to guide us, wanting something different in our lives. Is this it? We have been tied to this house, tied to this mortgage, tied to this little town that I've never wanted to live it. Is this going to be what frees us?

So I have been trying to figure out how to save. Scrimp. Coupons. Turn off lights. Turn down the heat. In short, I think I am slowly becoming my mother. Oddly enough- I am embracing this new role and it is giving me a sense of control that I haven't had before. Perhaps we just trade one psychological crutch for another. I kind of like this cheap second hand duct taped crutch as opposed to the "old" shiny keeping up with the Jones' model. I'm hoping I can peel back some layers of who and how I am and find that the things I have surrounded myself with are much less important then I'd once believed, and that the security I crave comes from my family, my faith, and my newfound frugality.